~~~Lara Zielin~~~

I never claimed Amos was the smartest beagle. The naughtiest? Maybe. But his little canine brain is still trying to work some things out. Like whether the hose is friend or foe.

All I can say is, if Amos and the hose had a fistfight, I’m pretty sure the hose would win.

FAVE LINKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND: So, if historical events had Facebook statuses, they’d look like this. Full of win!

Happy flashback Friday! It is a gorgeous day out: sunny with the first nip of fall in the air, and sky so blue it makes your heart beat a little faster.

BUT WHY LOOK AT THAT CRAP WHEN YOU CAN LOOK AT PRETTY PICHIRS?!?!

Omg, I can’t wait to see what’s inside this book! And, wow, there must be a ton of content here because look at all those staples at the top! Frankenstein is jealous! Heck, Joan Rivers’ forehead is jealous! Jeez, there must be, like, a hundred pages to warrant all those staples!

(And, okay, I confess I have no idea what a pichir is — a device for pouring drinks? a person who throws baseballs from the mound? — but I’m excited anyway.)

Oh! Pretty pichirs! Of course. The kind that are nice to see. The kind that are worth money.

The kind that mind their own business? Wait, what?

Lara: Hey, picture! Dude, I totally have to tell you about my dog, Amos. He’s been really challenging lately and –

Picture: I’m sorry, that’s really not my affair. Perhaps you should talk to the vet instead? 

Erm, okay. Whatever.

And now for page two!

Take it away, page two!

What? No page two? Oh come ON. That’s staple abuse. And false advertising.

Hey, you know what pichirs? In addition to being nice and minding your own business and making sure people’s drinks are refilled at parties and volunteering at pet shelters, you should really follow through on stuff. Maybe next time we call you Pretty Pichir. For crying out loud.

I’m so excited! It’s here! It’s Youth Literacy Day!

I could sit here and tell you in great detail how my local 826michigan organization helps teens read, write, and develop a love for words — and do they ever. But, curiously, they do the same thing for me, too. It’s true! I have adored being involved in this organization as a volunteer, and each time I’m there, I walk away more and more pumped about anything having to do with literacy and the printed word.

Which is to say, when you celebrate Youth Literacy Day today, and I know you will, it’s not just about kids. It’s about communities, and impacting people on every level — volunteers, parents, teachers, the whole ball of wax.

The 826 organizations do amazing work. Please help them today by clicking here to donate $8.26 through PayPal or text the word WRITE to 20222 for a one-time donation of $10.

Thanks for celebrating 826 on 8/26!

Did you know that on Youth Literacy Day — this Thursday, 8/26 — you can text “WRITE” to 20222 to make a one-time donation of $10?

It’s true! You can!

And how easy is that? You can support youth literacy just by texting. I swear, technology is so awesome sometimes.

You may ask yourself, how did I get here Lara, why are you so invested in youth literacy?

To which I would reply that a picture is worth a thousand words. Thusly, I give you this:

Let me tell you, this fascinating little tome, which I penned in second grade, ends really well.

Which is all to say I’ve been writing and reading since before I could do much anything else, and it’s become something I’m passionate about — professionally, personally, and just generally. David Eggers put it best when he recently said “More than ever before, a young person’s success is inextricably tied to their ability to express their ideas clearly and powerfully.” Celebrating Youth Literacy Day helps show support for helping kids do just that.

Look, the stuff we write might not always be amazing …

… but it doesn’t have to be. It just has to be a stepping stone to bigger and better things.

Will you help support Youth Literacy Day? Follow @826michigan on Twitter or visit www.826on826.org to learn more!

ARE YOU READY FOR YOUTH LITERACY DAY? <– If you say this like the guy says “Are you ready for some football?” on the NFL commercials, it’s really exciting.

Youth Literacy Day is this Thursday, 8/26, and will celebrate the power of reading, writing, and self expression. 826 organizations, founded by David Eggers, are heading up the charge for Youth Literacy Day by asking people to support the 826 chapters in their city.

I’m getting behind this because I know firsthand how books can forever impact kids and teens. I grew up in a small Wisconsin town but I don’t believe I limited myself because I saw so many possibilities in the pages of the novels I was always reading. Books infused me with the passion to become a writer — something they still do, in fact. Growing up, when I didn’t have any friends — something I experienced more often than I would have liked — I always had literary characters who, even if they couldn’t leap off the pages and talk to me, at least were often going through similar things.

Can you support Teen Literacy by donating $8.26 on 8/26 through www.826on826.org?

Need more convincing? No worries. I’m making this Youth Literacy Week on Larawrites.com, so I’m all about sharing the youth literacy love until this awesome organization has all the money they need.

As Love Week draws to a close on Larawrites.com, I thought I’d share some things that I learned recently about love, which didn’t go into previous posts.

For example, this video (courtesy of my awesome agent) showcases the hilarious protest-sign creativity of gay marriage activists who, like the rest of us, just want to love and be loved.

My fave? Elizabeth Taylor had 8 husbands; I just want one.

There’s also this little tortoise who was bullied by other tortoises (click here for full story) and lived a lonely life until the owners gave him a plastic girlfriend (*bites back snarky comment*) with whom he’s “besotted.”

Love really does come in all different shapes and sizes.

But since it’s Friday, I suppose the best way to conclude Love Week is with a Friday Flashback from a high school boyfriend. As you can see, this guy is really something else. It’s my birthday, and he sure as heck knows how to make a girl feel special.

If you’re reading this and not going hunting, please leave a comment. Love, Me.

Love Week continues!

Except today, like that old Nazareth song suggests, we’re talking about how love hurts.

But Lara, you say, love is butterflies and rainbows and unicorns! Love doesn’t hurt.

To which I say p’shaw. Love is salt and lemons in an open wound. Love is drifting in the open ocean with sharks circling. Love is that moment in Indiana Jones when the bad guy sticks his fist into some guy’s chest and pulls out his still-beating heart.

Here’s why.

Last night, I pitched a hissy fit in my head because I did not want to go to my writer’s group and do more work on my next book. I wailed and gnashed my teeth (mentally) and was pretty much in a craptastic mood the whole day because of it.

I hated the idea of writing.

But I love writing.

When I got to the writing group, my writing partner, Susannah, put it my mood into perspective. She talked about how the girls on the volleyball team she coaches were recently complaining about having to train in hot weather. To which Susannah replied that anything you’re passionate about doing, and doing well, is going to drag you out of your comfort zone. You don’t get better at something unless you work hard at it. That’s as true for volleyball as it is for writing.

For the record, I shut my yap and finished an entire chapter last night. But I didn’t want to. No I did not.

But that’s love. Love means shouldering through something even when it pisses you off. Like, you can be so mad at your spouse (or beagle) or best friend, but because you love them, you’ll figure out a way to work it out.  If you didn’t love them, you’d walk away.

And for me, I could no more walk away from writing than I could Rob.

What (or who) do you love so much that you’ll power through the bad times for it (or them)? What makes you wail and gnash your teeth, but fills you up at the same time?

Love Week continues on Larawrites.com!

Many of us have heard the oft-quoted scripture from First Corinthians about love being patient and kind.

I’m here to tell you love is also illogical.

Allow me to introduce … Amos.

Amos is my beagle. I have blogged about Amos before — namely when the little beagle Uno won Best in Show at Westminster and I begged people to please, please not run out and buy a beagle. I had myriad reasons. I still do.

Like, this past Christmas when we came home to find Amos had devoured our advent calendar — cardboard and chocolate and all. He’d left slobber-laden ruins strewn on the carpet like holiday snow. Sad, spitty, disgusting holiday snow.

When we first moved into our Ypsilanti home, Amos burst through the door and promptly peed on the fireplace. Of note: he’d been house-trained for years.

In this picture, he’s chewing on a toy that was once a full, stuffed, glorious Lion King that even roared.

These days, we call it Lion Shred.

Amos has chewed my kitten-heel Kenneth Cole shoes, Rob’s glasses, the television remote, and countless pairs of my underwear.

One time, he ate three used tampons and then, an hour later, threw them all up on my favorite chair.

We recently put a baby gate up to keep Amos from getting to the cat food in the basement. He chewed through it while we were at work, ate all the cat food he could, then pooped Meow Mix and splinters for two days.

Amos has been sprayed by a skunk — twice. He rolls in every kind of feces or dead thing he can find. He has eaten I don’t know how many fresh cat turds right from the litter box, has humped every pillow in the house, and he farts liberally.

In a word, Amos is disgusting.

Amos is needy, not to mention vocal. He whines when we have guests over. He whines when we eat dinner. He howls when he’s had to wait at the door for more than two seconds after peeing on all my flowers.

By all accounts, I should really not like Amos.

Not one little bit.

But the thing is, I love Amos. And Rob does too.

Amos is delighted by everyone and everything and, like so many dogs, he’s overjoyed to see us — even when it’s only been five minutes and we’ve been three feet away the whole time.

Almost always, Amos looks like he’s smiling.

And he lets us put bunny ears on him, even though he doesn’t really like it.

Every day is new and exciting and joyous for Amos, even if we’re doing the same old stuff we did the day before.

Amos loves to stick his head out the window when we’re driving, and sniff everything in the wind.

Amos has spots on his back that look like Mickey Mouse, and a white tip on his tail that flashes when he wags it.

In the winter, he likes to catch snowflakes and play in the snow.

When we drop food on the floor, he happily eats it. His ears are really soft, and his belly is pink and spotted where the hair is thinner.

When we visit our cabin in the woods, Amos loves to run and chase squirrels.

There are days when Amos shreds my last nerve. Days when I wish he’d just pipe down. Days when I wonder why the heck we didn’t just get a German shepherd or a lab.

But then Amos curls up on my lap, pretending like he’s half his size, and we cuddle and it’s all somehow okay. I love him and, in his doggy way, I’m pretty sure he loves me.

It’s illogical. But that’s okay. In this, I’d rather have full heart than a sound mind.

And to you I ask: what or who have you loved in a completely illogical way? Who or what is your Amos, so to speak?

It’s Love Week on Larawrites.com!

Love Week is dedicated to exploring everything we love – from other people, to books, to cheese, to Castle. Oh, hey, what do you know, I just listed off the things I love most in this world.

Well, that’s a wrap for love week!

Just kidding.

I’m starting off love week with my husband, Rob. Who I love thiiiiiiiis much (read: too much to type about). Just to make it interesting, I’ve asked Rob to talk about dating.

Yes, it’s true. I want my betrothed to talk about dating. Why? Because he’s smart, sensitive, and he gets it, both from a guy’s perspective and – because he grew up in a house full of women – from a girl’s. But hey, don’t take it from me. Take it from Rob, the heart Guru!

Rob: Um, could you not call me that? It sort of reminds me of that bad Mike Myers movie.

Lara: Because you feed me cheese and tuck me in at night, I’ll grant you that. So, Love Gu—I mean, Rob. Tell me, how did you get to be so in tune with what women want (not the Mel Gibson movie) and what aspects of a relationship are most important?

Rob: I grew up in a house full of women. In my house and in my family, women were the cool group you wanted to hang out with. The dudes just sort of sat around and yelled at the T.V. The women were the funny, smart ones who were there for you in a lot of different facets – whereas the guys would just sort of pop a beer, punch you in the shoulder, and not say anything. I looked up to all the women in my life early on.

Then, I’d see dudes come around and they would totally change. They’d become these bumbling idiots second-guessing themselves, and all they’d do is talk about boys. The boy’s problems, and how they could get him to act certain ways, etc. It was like there was a square peg and a round hole, and they were always trying to make it fit.

Lara: How did that affect and shape you?

Rob: I just wanted to tell them, hold on – you guys are really cool. You’re awesome, you don’t need to change, the guy is the one who’s kind of a douche. I just wanted them to know how amazing they were, and that they weren’t being treated right.

Lara: For having developed a great sense, early on, of how a woman should be treated and what a healthy relationship looks like, you spent a lot of your 20’s single.

Rob: Er, yeah. All of my 20s, actually.

Lara: Why do you think that was?

Rob: Part of it was, I was really insecure. I really liked women, but women didn’t seem to like me. And I also think that it wasn’t until I turned 30 that women wanted to date me. I wasn’t the bad boy who was going to mistreat you. I was the guy who was going to be your best friend and your boyfriend, and I don’t think most women know how to handle that, especially when they’re in their 20s.

Lara: What advice would you give to women who are frustrated with their relationships right now?

Rob: Every frustrated relationship is different. But I’m going to just say that if it doesn’t feel right, it’s probably not right. Look, I’m not a chick expert, but it seems to me that women, for whatever reason, have a really highly developed sense about things and, when they’re honest with themselves, they know when things are right and when they’re not. I’d say trust that gut instinct.

And secondly, I’d say stop giving the dude all the power. Be the coolest, best version of yourself you can be and work on yourself for a while. If you keep running into the same walls in relationships, then it’s not the relationships – it’s you. If every dude is treating you like you’re worthless, then there’s something in you that’s choosing guys who don’t value you enough, or you’re not valuing yourself enough and aren’t demanding that they meet you half way.

Lara: Well, there you have it – relationship advice from a married guy who was single for most of his 20s.

But I want to hear from you! What relationship wisdom have you garnered through the school of hard knocks? What advice do you have for married people or single people?

FAVE LINKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND: For sure it’s the movie version of Oregon Trail. For those of you reading who are all like, what’s Oregon Trail?, let me tell you, it was this totally budget video game that many of us played when floppy disks were actually floppy. Herdy herdy.

I have some exciting news! Aggie Winchester is here! Okay, not in galley form. Not yet. But look how close! Look how many clean, white, pretty pages she has!

Also, I’m super pumped because The Implosion of Aggie Winchester can now be found on Amazon.com! It’s not yet available for pre-order (*coughs*), but you can sign up to be notified when it becomes available. And, um, no — the beagle sniffing the pages above does not come with your order. Much as I wish he could some days.