~~~Lara Zielin~~~

STATUS: Ghost Hunted. The season premiere was last night and it ruled. I especially like the newbie they’re training. Who knew you can’t wear perfume to a ghost hunt? Not me.

FAVE LINKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND: The genius of www.tootandtinkle.com. I typed out the URL so you could see it. So, Toot? He’s a TRAIN. That looks suspiciously like … not a train. And Tinkle’s a fairy, so your kid is SURE to think that flying things who come for his/her teeth also come for his/her urine.

Katie got the pics back from her wedding and it turns out, we really were the rowdy table. We sort of bet this guy sitting next to me that he couldn’t eat a whole cupcake in one bite. That’s Rob, shoving the fist-full of dollars in the poor guy’s face. And yes, that’s me, hooting my encouragement. Katie’s wedding really was classy. Except for us.

In other exciting news, the edits came! Yay! They’re awesome. And awesomely challenging, but in a really good way. I need to process them a bit more and digest everything that Stacey wants me to do, but I’m totally impressed by her editing prowess. The book is going to be SO much better as a result!

STATUS: Minty fresh. And probably bursting with fruit-filled flavors.

FAVE LIKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND:
This Powerthirst video features flavors like shockolate and rawberry. (This is another find by Rob, who is the master fab link-uncoverer).

The edits came yesterday! Well, at least part of them. It was the first 70 or so pages of my book, left on the front step in the rain. In a padded envelope that had the consistency of damp toast when I picked it up. Fortunately, the pages dried out and I can read most of Stacey’s handwriting. Truth be told, though, I didn’t look that closely at it yet. I am waiting for her editing letter, which, as far as I can tell, is like a vision statement about the direction of the book. I’m waiting to sink my teeth into that before I jump into the line edits.

STATUS: Over the moon about my new website. I’m Internecstatic.

FAVE LINKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND:
An homage to all the fact-checkers out there. And Bill Murray. And maybe warm milk, too.

Last weekend, a discussion ensued about what to be for this year’s Halloween party. I am usually terrible at picking out Halloween costumes. In the new “about me” section, I talk briefly about the year I went as Harriet Miers. You see? I’m terrible at this. A creative friend suggested Dorothy, or perhaps Glenda the Good Witch — but having delved into 100 pages of WICKED, I just don’t think I can do that. Maybe I’ll go as a YA writer with a new website. At least the costume would be cheap.

STATUS: Over it. The miniature poodle, that is.

FAVE LINKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND:
The Hipster Olympics (I feel 30 percent more ironic already).

I was thinking this morning about how, when I was sixteen years old, I wrote a fan letter to Stephen King. I addressed the envelope to: Stephen King, Bangor, Maine, and because it wasn’t ever returned to me, I like to believe it landed at its intended destination. I wrote to Mr. King about the similarities between Pink Floyd’s song “Comfortably Numb” and Mr. King’s book IT. Looking back on it, it was a pretty kick-ass connection to make, especially since I was barely a sophomore in high school. If I’d rounded out the ideas and cited some sources, it could have been a pretty decent college paper.

I never heard back from Mr. King, but I’m not surprised. I think that was right about the time in his life he was getting run over by cars, stalked by rabid fans, and maybe even entering rehab for alcoholism. I’ve thought about writing him again but – I don’t know. I kind of like to worship him from afar these days. I think if I communicated with the author of one of the best books for writers ev-er, On Writing, and the guy behind the Pop of King in EW, I might have a heart attack and die.

He’s still got IT – big time.

STATUS: Dandy Warholled. Rob’s been on a kick listening to them and I’ve followed suit. We used to be friends, a long time ago.

There’s been an editing delay. I KNOW, you were as anxious as me to find out what Stacey was going to recommend-slash-change, but I guess we’ll have to wait until next week to find out. Bummer.

In the meantime, I’ve decided I need a miniature poodle. This is entirely logical and I don’t care what anyone says — carrying a tiny dog in a purse is NOT retarded. This past weekend I visited a little pet boutique shop called Toys and Teacups and almost walked away with a miniature black and white poodle. Who I may or may not have named Puddin. Only there was one itsy bitsy (like Puddin) problem: He’s $2200. [Insert heart attack here.]

Oh, did I mention Rob doesn’t think this is a fantastic idea either? I totally see his point. I do NOT need a $2200 miniature poodle.

But dammit, I WANT one.

Waaaaaaaaaah.

STATUS: Loving the phrase “the commoditization of grief.” I heard it this weekend in reference to the sale of If I Did It.

Big day today. I’m supposed to get the DONUT DAYS edits from Stacey and I discovered that LJK Literary has added me to their website. Yay! I’m no longer the red-headed stepchild! Okay, not that I ever was – not really. Uncle Larry says he lurves me and I believe him. If he locks me in the attic and feeds me arsenic little bits at a time and I suddenly find a sibling really attractive, we might have a problem on our hands (name that “literary” reference and win a prize in the form of my total respect). But for now, we’re good.

In other news, I have the BEST. JOB. EVER. Why? Oh, why you ask? I get to interview Laura Kasischke. If I could just spell her name without checking it every time, though. Durn it. Anyway, the woman’s written some seriously fab books, and one of them was SO fab that they’ve made it into a movie starring Uma Thurman. Who I have a secret girl-crush on. Ethan Hawke? You are one stupid man. Stew-pid. Anyway, back to Laura. I get to chat with her in early October about her writing, and the movie, and maybe shoes because I bet she’s that kind of woman. I bet she has GREAT shoes.

Anyway, if there’s anything you want me to ask Laura for you, just post it to my blog and I’ll get on it. And, dur, I totally plan to ask her what she’s wearing to the movie premiere.

STATUS: Tempted to make fun of Brit. Except I was told in no uncertain terms to LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE. Uh, I guess I’ll take YouTube Videos that Rule and Suck Simultaneously for $500, Alex.

So, is it just me or is there controversy everywhere these days? I guess Kathy Griffin made everyone pissed with her Creative Arts Emmy speech, where she doesn’t thank Jesus and says her success has nothing to do with Jesus. And, okay, she says “suck it, Jesus.” I could see how maybe that’s not the classiest thing to say of all time. But you know what? In my old church, if my pastor had to do a sermon on Kathy Griffin and her success, you know what he’d say? I’ll tell you:

Kathy Griffin is not blessed by the Lord. God cannot bless the life of an unrepentant sinner. Because the only prayer he’ll ever hear from an unrepentant sinner is the prayer of salvation. Anything before that falls on deaf ears. So Kathy cannot be blessed by God because God is not listening to her.

How do I know this? I heard this speech. It wasn’t about Kathy, specifically, but it may as well have been. And I sat there listening in the purple pew with the lights beating down and the pastor getting all frothed up in a suit that cost more than what he paid most of his staff members for an entire year. Yep. I saw that first-hand.

So, helllooooo, if evangelicals and hard-liner Catholics want to follow their own dogma, then Kathy’s right. Jesus had nothing to do with it.

STATUS: Generally Milled. I totally miss that old cereal, Boo Berry, and I’m joining the campaign to bring it back. In the meantime, I’m ordering it directly from the manufacturer. Blue food is normally kind of gross, but not in this case.

I started a yoga class this week and I gotta say, I’m totally hooked. I wish I could do yoga every day! It makes me feel really centered, relaxed, and focused. I told Rob, it calms me down enough so I think I might actually be able to handle having a kid. Which is hilarious. Because I’m still not convinced I want them. No baby bugs here. Sorry, Deb. (Deb is my sis-in-law who REALLY wants Rob and me to produce offspring. She also has five kids of her own, whom she handles like a goddess).

Calming my mind feels exceptional, especially since my thoughts have been ricocheting off the sides of my brain like one of those bullets you see in cartoons – the kind that wind up going everywhere except the intended target. Case in point: I’ve started, like, a million books lately and I can’t finish a single one of them.

The first was WATER FOR ELEPHANTS, which I put down because the protagonist didn’t resonate with me. Not even a little. I found myself profusely bored, despite the circus environment, the travel, and some potential romance. Second book: THE SWEET POTATO QUEEN’S FIRST BIG-ASS NOVEL. Fabulous title. And I’ve heard great things about the SP non-fiction, though I haven’t read it. But the novel? Ugh. It blasted through decades, stories, and characters, skimming the surface of things but never getting deep into meaty issues. Bummer. Third book: WICKED. I know it’s a NYT best-seller. What’s wrong with me? I found it totally confusing. There were descriptions and situations I didn’t understand, not to mention castes and languages, but not in a good LOTR kind of way. In a confusing WTF kind of way. And maybe I wasn’t ready to see Oz, or the Wicked Witch, in a new light. Maybe I’d like the musical more.

I’m moving on to non-fiction now. I have THE CULTURE CODE in front of me and I’m hoping this will be a better read. And if that fails, then I’m going back to re-reading Harry Potter.

STATUS: Holy. I am about to take a pilgrimage to my own personal Mecca – Lambeau Field in Green Bay, Wisconsin. There, I’ll see Brett Favre play on his home turf, maybe in his last year ever as an NFL quarterback. I also get to root for the Pack against the evil Vikings, my parents’ favorite team. They often lament how they could have raised a Packer fan. But I simply say – go, Pack, go!

Countdown until edits start on DONUT DAYS: One week exactly. Until then, I’m trying to get as much done as I can on the new book. Because once I start editing DD, I think it’ll be too hard to try and work on a second book, too.

I honestly look forward to blogging about the editing process. I’m a greenhorn here, so hopefully what I share on my blog will be helpful to other writers on the verge of a book contract. Or at least I hope it’s amusing. “She didn’t know THAT? OMG. I thought every writer knew about THOSE issues. Hoo boy.”

In other exciting news, Larawrites.com is almost slated for launch. And by almost I mean gimme, like, another week or so. At least. So prolly I’ll start blogging on larawrites directly but never fear – there’s cool technology available that will update my blogger site automatically, once I update larawrites. How cool is that? So if you’re stuck on roadtorandomhouse, you don’t have to leave it.