Lara Zielin

FAVE LINKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND: This sweet little paper cutout video inspired by Star Wars. Where can I get this song? Love it!

The leaves are falling! Autumn is in the air! I thought I’d help you get into a pumpkin-pickin’ mood by sharing some festive fall artwork of mine. Because I’m an artist as well as a writer. Don’t believe me? Well check out some of my earliest works of genius. (Thanks, Mom, for saving EVERYTHING!)

This wise little guy is the perfect companion for apple picking! Also, he’s clearly inspiration for those left over, baked-bean covered paper plates you would normally throw away after a picnic. Take all that brown smear and turn it into fall decor! So what if his right eye looks like that horror movie, The Ring? it’s called postmodernism, people.

And this little guy, you will love! He’s … GAH! My eyes!

Oh, wait. That’s better. He’s an elephant. Why, what were you thinking?

He’s the perfect little friend for raking leaves, as his trunk (no really, it’s a trunk) can clean up a yard faster than a leaf blower.

And finally, for those of you wondering what you should be for Halloween this year, I may I suggest a scaaaaary spider?

No, it is TOO a spider. So what if it only has six legs? It’s a mutant spider, okay? He’s really … I mean, he’s trying, all right? It’s not easy having six legs and yarn scotch-taped to your butt. Trust me.

Got some fall inspiration to share? I’d love to hear about it, no matter HOW many legs it has!

FAVE LINKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND: So, if historical events had Facebook statuses, they’d look like this. Full of win!

Happy flashback Friday! It is a gorgeous day out: sunny with the first nip of fall in the air, and sky so blue it makes your heart beat a little faster.

BUT WHY LOOK AT THAT CRAP WHEN YOU CAN LOOK AT PRETTY PICHIRS?!?!

Omg, I can’t wait to see what’s inside this book! And, wow, there must be a ton of content here because look at all those staples at the top! Frankenstein is jealous! Heck, Joan Rivers’ forehead is jealous! Jeez, there must be, like, a hundred pages to warrant all those staples!

(And, okay, I confess I have no idea what a pichir is — a device for pouring drinks? a person who throws baseballs from the mound? — but I’m excited anyway.)

Oh! Pretty pichirs! Of course. The kind that are nice to see. The kind that are worth money.

The kind that mind their own business? Wait, what?

Lara: Hey, picture! Dude, I totally have to tell you about my dog, Amos. He’s been really challenging lately and –

Picture: I’m sorry, that’s really not my affair. Perhaps you should talk to the vet instead? 

Erm, okay. Whatever.

And now for page two!

Take it away, page two!

What? No page two? Oh come ON. That’s staple abuse. And false advertising.

Hey, you know what pichirs? In addition to being nice and minding your own business and making sure people’s drinks are refilled at parties and volunteering at pet shelters, you should really follow through on stuff. Maybe next time we call you Pretty Pichir. For crying out loud.

Welcome to another exciting installment of Friday Flashbacks!

Today, I ask you: who would win in a bar fight, unicorn or Pegasus? Unicorn has … well, a horn. Impalement, anyone? But Pegasus — dude, his dad was Poseidon and his mom was Medusa. Hello, kickbutt pedigree!

Fortunately, I answered this question a long time ago in a drawing.

Behold, I present to you … Unisus!

It’s a unicorn … that flies! Its the perfect conflusion (totally just made up that word) of Pegasus and unicorn.

And its majesty is hardly dwarfed by the outline of pencil marks that I erased but you can still kinda see.

Fly free and win all bar fights everywhere, Unisus! I believe in you!

Okay, I’m starting a new category. It’s called Friday Flashbacks. Because, people, I have things to share. Old stories. Old photos. And you know what the best part is? I’m not afraid to make a moron out of myself. Ergo, you win.

Today’s Friday Flashback comes to you courtesy of 1982 through 1984.

Please allow myself to introduce … myself.

Dude, that penguin jumper? Is kinda rad.

And here I am ruining a perfectly lovely family photo in Hawaii.

And by perfectly lovely I mean I might submit it to awkward family photos later this afternoon.  Also, how about that 1980′s permfro I’m sporting? Nice. But really — I got nothin’ on my brother’s Miami Vice shirt. All it’s missing is a little coke residue on the front. It was the 80s, after all.