Lara Zielin

When your birthday falls right around Thanksgiving (sometimes on Thanksgiving, as mine does this year), it’s easy to feel like your special day gets usurped by visits from relatives, meal prep, and eating pumpkin pie instead of birthday cake.

Which is why, when I was little, my mom found a way to marry the two events (my birth and Thanksgiving, that is) in the coolest way ever. She made turkey cookies.

In grade school, we had to bring in treats to share with our classmates when it was  birthday time. Which, for the record, I’m pretty sure this is a tradition that dates back to the dinosaurs. I’m almost positive there were brontosauruses who had to bring in, like, hunks of redwood trees to share with the rest of the class when it was their birthday. Anyway, when I was a kid, the other moms would bring in cupcakes. Or Oreos. Or some flavorless cake from the grocery store. But not one of them — not one — brought in turkey cookies. I was the only one who had the mom who did that, because I was the only turkey baby in the bunch.

My turkey cookies for the office this year. Don't worry, I made more than three.

I loved it so much — that special feeling it gave me, of being born at an awesome time of year and being celebrated with something so unique — that I still make turkey cookies to this day. Usually I bring them into the office, and I try not to be all like, “Look, I am a turkey baby and this is what my people do!”

As you can see from the photo, it’s not exactly rocket science. You get a ginger snap, coat it with some frosting (or melt chocolate and spread it on top if you’re really ambitious) and stick candy to it. Candy corn for the tail, a Hershey’s kiss for the body, and a Boston baked bean for the head.

Whammo. Instant Awesome Person Status.

I’m thankful that my mom tried to bring a splash of creativity to our little Wisconsin school. I’m also thankful — not to suddenly wax cheesy or anything — for the amazing year that I’ve had, especially with the release of Aggie Winchester. Thanks for reading this blog, supporting my writing and sharing a turkey cookie with me this time of year.

If you live in Wisconsin or near Wisconsin or if you’ve ever wanted to visit Wisconsin (because it’s awesome!), please consider saying hello as I talk about The Implosion of Aggie Winchester IN WISCONSIN!

I’ll be in Eau Claire on September 18 at 3:00, doing a reading and signing at the Coffee Grounds, which is located at 3460 Mall Drive (just off highway 93).

Let me give you a visual:

I hope you can come! Books will be for sale on site. If you have any questions, you can email me at: new [dot] zielind [at] gmail [dot] com.

On Wisconsin!

I have a field. Well, actually, I don’t have a field — not technically — but sort of I do.

See, when I was growing up, there was a field behind our house. I used to go to the field all the time and play. When I got older, I’d go to the field and think. You know how sometimes, you get to a location and you realize, this place is part of me? Well, this field — it’s part of me. Big time.

Recently, when I was back in Wisconsin, I visited the field. Here’s me in the field.

The field is really beautiful. It has a gorgeous variety of wild plants and flowers.

And there poplar trees for days. Which is my favorite kind of tree.

The problem is, the field is for sale. From what my dad hears, most of the interest in the location is from developers. Who want to raze it and put up a pre-fab subdivision.

I have to tell you, the thought makes me sick. It feels like sacred land is being raped — not to put too fine a point on it. I mean, this place is part of the fabric of who I am. And the idea of McMansions on it makes me want to cry.

I’d buy it but I don’t have enough money. Not yet, anyway. The price is $10k per acre and there are 22 acres. That’s $220k.

So I’m going to try something. I’m going to believe that somehow, some way, that land is going to not get McMansions put on it. There’s a gorgeous scene in the book Eat, Pray, Love where Elizabeth Gilbert speaks what she needs to the universe (in that case, it was that her husband would sign her divorce papers) and she starts listing off people who agree with her that it needs to get done. At first the list starts with friends and family. In the end, the list is pretty funny — I think the Dali Lama is on it. But guess what else? The papers get signed. Pronto.

So, I’m taking a page out of Elizabeth’s book. I want to sign a petition to the universe, to God, that this land isn’t going to get razed. That this little slice of paradise deserves to stay that way.

Will you agree with me that this land deserves more than a subdivision? Will you stand with me by leaving your name in the comments?

I know it’s kinda crazy. But this place is a little crazy — it’s a little magical, actually. And I think the universe is with me on this one.

Many of you know I love Wisconsin. While I talk a lot about the cheese, the Packers, and the cheese, I think I’m selling my home state short with that list.

Because Wisconsin? Is amazing. No, really. And for lots more reasons than just beer and dairy and football.

First, Wisconsin is be-yoo-tee-ful. I bet you didn’t know that. I bet you thought it was all flat and full of farms, like … Illinois or Iowa or something. (No offense to those states but, sorry, you got nothin’ on ‘Sconsin). Wisconsin is full of rolling hills and it even has beautiful rocks and bluffs. They built a house on one of these rocks and called it … The House on the Rock. (Don’t say our names aren’t … well, accurate.)

And speaking of names, did you know just about every city in Wisconsin has an awesome name? Tomah. Poynette. Baraboo. Oshkosh. Wautoma. Kakauna. I mean, if I had a daughter, I might actually consider naming her Appleton.  Okay, not really — I just couldn’t resist the Gwenyth jab.

Laura Ingalls Wilder is from Wisconsin. Awww yeah. Harry Houdini lived there. The largest American ski race, the Birkebiner, is held in Wisconsin. Minnesota might have 10,000 lakes, but we have 8,500 and we don’t need to put that number on our license plates, thank you very much.

Our state has a UFO capital, a bratwurst capital, and a jump-rope capital. (Belleville, Sheboygan, and Bloomer, respectively. And, again with the names! They are so awesome!)

And even though there are no stats to back up this statement, I’d wager that the people in Wisconsin are some of the nicest anywhere. You can’t go into a grocery store, or a movie theater, or a car wash without someone saying hello and chatting.

Wisconsin’s motto might be “Forward,” but I’d suggest perhaps changing it to “More awesome than anything Chuck Norris ever did.”

But that might be hard to fit on a quarter.

FAVE LINKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND: A failed book banning from Wisconsin. And it’s not even anything crazy — just Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Despite the cheese, my home state can really make me mad sometimes. But thank goodness this story has a happy ending.

So, remember how I said all us writer folk need each other? Well, to underscore that just a bit more, I’d like to announce the wonderful, fabulous and hilarious Rhonda Stapleton will be road tripping to Ohio (glamorous Ohio!) with me in March for a writers’ retreat.

Because sometimes, when your creative juices aren’t flowing, all it takes is getting in the same room with a like-minded writer and daring the muses to come find you both. But the best part about this trip? I mean, obviously it’s being with Rhonda, but other than that is the fact the place where we’re staying … has its own railroad.

Its own railroad!!! Look!

I even asked them if the train would be up and running when we went there and they said yes. OMG, OMG, OMG. So. Excited.

In May, I am also going on a writers’ retreat with my awesome writer-lady friend Ellen Baker. We do more of a subdued Northwoods thing in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. But man, are we productive.

So whether you have trains or woods, the point is to partner with people who can help you through the creative process. Writers rock! And we all need each other so we can rock harder. So our books can go to 11, as it were.

Who needs stinky Brett Favre anyway? It’s Mr. Rodgers’ neighborhood now! Go, Pack, Go!!

STATUS: My husband just called our kitty a dining room terrorist. I about peed my pants.

FAVE LINKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND: Joel McHale from the Soup introduces this video from a morning show that has a random insert of a kitty and spaghetti. Wha?

Rob’s colleague Terri recently brought us back some Wisconsin cheese after her short visit there. Which, you know I love me some Wisconsin cheese. But this cheese had an additional layer of OMG to it, because it turned out Terri brought us Wisconsin cheese … shaped like Wisconsin!

I have to admit I horded much of the dairy Dairy State for myself. Poor Rob must have had one bite for every five of mine. But in the end, I think it was worth it to have so very many little cheesy bits of my homeland in my body.

Or maybe that’s just creepy.

STATUS: Headed over to Register.com in a moment to buy www.brettfavreisabigfatloser.com. Have fun in New York, jerkface. I hope you get mugged.

FAVE LINKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND: I disagree with the creator of this video that the Pack sucks, but I agree with him that Brett sucks. Too bad about the director’s ridiculous homophobia, but it’s still worth a watch. Just to see pics where Brett looks stupid.  

Now that Rob and I have successfully painted two huge rooms in the new house and the majority of boxes are unpacked, it’s time to look ahead. And by look ahead I mean think about my next book. The next unwritten book, that is.

Not that I won’t be doing other things as well, like thinking about how to do grassroots marketing of Donut Days and how to build mailing lists, etc. But I’m a writer, and I gots to get to writin.

The question is … what?

I have a lot of ideas milling around in my head. The two best ones, however, would require a boat-load of historical research. And in my family, my dad’s the historian, not me. I’m not really sure I could write a novel that didn’t take place in present day.

My friend Ellen is a pro at this. She pens amazing historical fiction (that looks like an oxymoron on screen; I wonder if I have that phrase right?) and she knows her stuff so well that it comes across in the tiniest details. Like the color of a kitchen table or the kinds of shoes a character wears. If I were to pen a historical work, I’d want my details to be as rich and genuine, but that’s a terribly lofty goal. You can’t just wake up one day and decide to be a historian.

Except these are good book ideas, so maybe it’s worth trying.

Maybe.

I suppose I’ll unpack another box while I think about it.

STATUS: Thrilled to death to be reading EAT, PRAY, LOVE. Best book ever.

FAVE LINKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND: Columbus Day takes on new meaning in this story Rob found about Columbus and syphilis.

During our Wisconsin exodus this year, Rob and I decided to put to music our deep and enduring love for cheese. You might think cheese would be a silly thing to write a song about, but that just means you’ve never tasted aged cheddar from Held’s. Plus, we had ten hours to kill in the car and what else are you going to do?

So, without further ado, I give you a little ditty we call “Cheese Snack.” Enjoy!

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

STATUS: Addicted to QVC. I’m not even kidding. So far I haven’t bought anything, but there’s something about that show that’s like watching a beauty pageant that’s just seconds away from devolving into chaos and tears. It’s crack.

FAVE LINKEY-POO RIGHT THIS SECOND: My friend Sarah sent this out with the tag “Lo that I so love the Internet!” The girl made herself into an elf, peeps. And I gotta say, she’s freaking adorable!

Our presents are wrapped, our advent calendar is halfway completed, and we leave in one week for Wisconsin.  Pretty much every day between now and then is filled with plans of some sort. It’s a busy time of year for sure, but so far this has been the most enjoyable holiday season of all. Maybe it’s the fact that getting gifts wasn’t stressful, that our house has been a cozy Christmas cottage for weeks now, and that Rob’s infectious Christmas spirit is … well, infectious.

The other thing that rules is that Stacey asked me yesterday for ideas for the cover of DONUT DAYS. What a fun assignment! How do you visually combine donuts and religion? I *loved* thinking about this and it was the perfect gift – the reminder that my book is a real thing that is going to come out in just over a year. Woo hoo!